This was originally going to be an Aibu review, but after numerous complaints about bias, unfairness, unnecessary profanity and unmasked hatred for the blog’s readership, a new writer was called in to take the place of the sourpuss who usually runs this show. Which is good, because the new KOTOKO single is great!
KOTOKO – SCREW (2009, Geneon Universal)
3. SCREW -instrumental-
4. BUCCANEER -instrumental-
As Jay-Z once said, “please allow me to reintroduce myself”. Except unlike Jay-Z, who sucks, I never really introduced myself in the first place so the quote doesn’t really fit. ANYHOW! I’m Mikey. Michael. Mike. Some variant of that. You could call me Michelangelo, but that’d be stupid because it’s not my name or really a commonly-accepted replacement for the name I was given at birth. ANYHOW! I love KOTOKO. More than anything. Except maybe KOTOKO. See what I did there?
Yeah, so I love KOTOKO? And I was given the chance to write a review for this blog? I think that’s how it went. Anyhow, the first KOTOKO song I heard was Shooting Star. A lot of you guys probably think you’re pretty “old-school” if you started with Re-Sublimity, but HA, you all suck because I’ve been listening to KOTOKO longer than you and I’m a bigger fan. How do you know I’m a bigger fan? Because I own every KOTOKO CD. No, not ‘every KOTOKO CD’ in the ‘every Geneon release’ sense, even though I do own regular and LE editions of every one of her amazing maxi-singles for Geneon Universal. No, I mean that I have all her eroge singles too. Even the Synthetic Organism single, which I hunted down on Yahoo! Japan and bought for well over $100 before I’ve Mania Tracks made demand for the Outer singles drop off completely. My collection is worth thousands, and I’ll never sell a single one because that’s how much KOTOKO means to me.
See, what this blog’s problem is? That would be that it’s about I’ve Sound. Really, those I’ve Sound guys are awesome for discovering KOTOKO I guess, but her voice could make a classic song even if the background was just, I dunno, the sound of a ping-pong ball or something. The I’ve guys don’t mean shit, and these other vocalists they’ve got? Fuckin’ suck. All of them. Especially Kaori, her music puts me right TO SLEEP. ANYHOW! That’s why I’m here, to provide a fair, unbiased, totally balanced and objective perspective on what is unquestionably the greatest KOTOKO release since the last one.
So SCREW, god, I would love to SCREW KOTOKO! I’m sure we all would, because damn that girl is SEXY! WHOO! ANYHOW! I love this song. It’s from some crappy movie nobody cares about, I think it might be from the guy who made Ghost in the Shell and then The Most Boring Movie Ever Made (The Sky Crawlers) and after that started making martial arts movies with vampires or something. The movie looks dumb as hell, but that’s just another symbol of why KOTOKO rocks and I’ve sucks: I’ve picks out the lamest thing ever to put KOTOKO’s beautiful song in, and she performs it like it was the theme song for the fucking Godfather or some shit like that. She’s too good for everything, and I’ve just doesn’t understand that. God, if I managed her… things would be so different! Ugh! I’VE MAKES ME SO MAD! ANYHOW! THE SINGLE!
SCREW has a lot in common with the title track from Epsilon no Fune, from a sort of similar sound to the fact that she wears the same (SEXY!) outfit in the PVs for both Epsilon and SCREW. She also rides in a train while coelacanths float outside the window in the SCREW video, though, so I don’t really know what the hell is going on there. It’s the kind of song to make really cool AMVs to; (maybe AMVs like this one if anyone’s looking for inspiration!) I can already imagine a badass scene from Advent Children or something while KOTOKO sings her heart out. Like she always does, of course. It’s not the fastest thing, but KOTOKO is great at any tempo and this song proves her range in great style.
On the flip-side is BUCCANEER, a song that sounds basically like what I imagine sea shanties will sound like when instead of the sea we’re flying in interstellar battleships across space. It’s like Pirates of the Caribbean meets The Matrix, except even more awesome because KOTOKO’s involved. It doesn’t sound possible, but then you hear the song and HOLY GOD, KOTOKO DID IT AGAIN! It’s amazing! She keeps defying expectations, even when I set my expectations unrealistically high. I don’t even know how she does it, but god, it’s SO AMAZING to hear her do the same thing over and over. The same thing being “knock it out of the park”, of course. (Anyone else thinking about the daily-daily Dream video right now?)
Anyhow, long story short, this single is amazing, just like the last one was. And the next one will be. I’ve spent thousands of dollars on KOTOKO, I signed up for Mutant Dwarf with help from a Japanese friend, and I’ve seen her live 3 times. I am the ultimate KOTOKO fan, and I know a good thing when I hear one: she’s got another winner here.